Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
