you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Sext me about skeletons
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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