it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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