Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We were destined to go to rehab together
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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