Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
