I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
