I wish I could punch you in the face.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
