Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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