Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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