So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Ketchup is God's man juice
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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