He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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