she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
