Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
