tell your sister to shave her snatch
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize