She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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