Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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