"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
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Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
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do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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