so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
