Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
