Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
