the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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