my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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