just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
