White coat. Heels.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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