if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
