four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
