he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
