If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
