she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
