i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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