She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
