with your own penis?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
