I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
my being single is dangerous.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
