I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
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Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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