I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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