Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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