you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
