I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
