They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
