just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
