apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
