shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
