Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I cannot find my penis.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
