Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
