FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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