What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
