You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
