he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
