i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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