If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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