just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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