i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
