Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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