You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
