He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
